For the first time, her husband allowed her to take a time off from taking care of their infant and house chores. Her life has always been restless and full of responsibilities because of the people relying on her strength and presence. Unmarried, she was the leader and provider for her parents and siblings. And now that she has her own family — a son and a husband, it seems everything is on the top of her shoulders. Everyone is depending on her decisions, instructions and actions.
It is a lovely day. Fine grains of sands are tickling the soles of her feet. And small waves of seawater that successfully got through to the edge of the shore are rejuvenating her tired feet. Sea is a great place to find tranquility, she thought.
But her time will end soon. And everyone who has been leaning on her strength will be forced to find their own ways and discover their own lives. Their stale instincts have to reignite in order to participate in the survival-of-the-fittest game of life. This game is exciting to those who look ahead in life, but to those who hide under the shadow of someone else’s persona, it is a nightmare.
Sarah, a gifted woman, has the ability to discern the voice of God. Her gift has always been a blessing to her and to others — to warn, to inform, or to instruct about an upcoming danger and how to escape from it.
One ordinary day, in the midst of carrying out a chore, God spoke to her again.
“I always see your heart. You have been a faithful lover of my Spirit, a selfless servant who dedicates her whole being for my people. You’ve participated in life that is very pleasing to my soul. You used your energy and time on the things that matters to me which makes your life of great worth. Rejoice for a life well-spent, because your stay on my beloved earth will come to end. On your 35th year, you will go back to your true home, my heaven.”
The voice in her head went silent.
“I am going to die at the age of thirty-five. Am I, God?” she asked in her head.
Yes. God replied.
Frozen, her mind and body could not determine the right thoughts and emotions on how it should react to the idea of her own death. The initial reflex of the mind about death is fear, and Sarah is expecting it to flicker in every single cell of her body — but there is no sign of fear. Nothing. Her soul is still pacified as if death is just a common milestone of her life. She gave herself another chance to invite and feel fear, but the peace in her heart won’t budge.
Normal days went by, Sarah lives her life by its defaults, as if she does not know that her death will happen soon. She’ll be turning thirty-five in two weeks. God did not tell if her death will be exactly on her birthday or not, perhaps it’d be just the beginning of her time bomb.
“My life has always been restless. If death is a sanctuary to rest, perhaps it is not that terrifying at all,” she thought.
The sky is bright outside and the long stretch of the shore is covered with strong breeze. The aroma of the sea is calming and healing. And she tried to breathe in everything that her lungs could hold. Moment like this is the closest to what she can call rest — a time for herself, an alone time with God.
Carefully, she took out the pen and white piece of blank paper that she brought with her inside a small sling bag, avoiding it to get wet. She slowly sat on the shore and started to scribble.
To the Owner of my life, my most Beloved,
My mind knows that I should question you why my death have to come early. It’s telling me to be fearful but the peace in my heart is more powerful than death. The human instinct in me wants to tell you, “How can you do this to me?” But my soul could not just dare to question your plans.
I want to worry. I want to be afraid, not for myself but for the people I serve. I am the wall and foundation of my husband and son, of my parents and siblings. How are their lives going to be without me? I want to ask you this question but I couldn’t because I know that the nature of your lordship works in them too. You’ve put me in the desert, weary and thirsty, but did not forsake me. You are my oasis and I know that you will be the same for them too.
I surrendered my life to you and you rewarded me peace and joy. You always test my faith by giving commands that stretch my courage. I found that one can say that he has faith in God, but only by making courageous decisions and actions that a person can prove that his faith is true, without uttering a single word. If facing my death is an act of bravery, then my faith is yours.
Death only becomes frightening if purpose is not yet recognized and fulfilled. I have spent my life obeying your instructions. Following your voice is not easy, but how can I resist your power? You are abundantly strong and beautiful. Doing your will yields me pleasure. It allowed me to befriend fears and adversities, and the evil could not use them against me anymore. Obeying you is my earth purpose, so I am not afraid to die. My destiny is always part of your impeccable plan, even the time of my death.
I encountered the meaning of love when I knew you. You’ve enrolled me in a journey of spiritual transformation wherein I discovered that there is no separation between life and God, even death and God. So how can I fear death if dying means becoming one with you?
My life is grateful because I met you. I am glad to know that I will be seeing you soon, timeless and boundless.
The only sound she could hear is the relentless toss of the sea. There is so much life in the midst of silence and solitude. Sarah slowly rolled her letter to God, tied with a brown ribbon and slipped it inside a clear glass bottle, and sealed with a cork stopper. Surely, she will experience sadness as her death gets nearer each day because she will miss the best days of her life — being a mother to an innocent child and a wife to a loving husband. But everything will be fine according to God’s sovereign plan.
Striving for a great throw, she propelled the bottle into trajectory towards the middle of the sea. Like her faith, it will stay afloat and continue to swim along the calmness and the rage of the sea.
Two and a half months have passed, Sarah acquired an unknown disease that is slowly killing her strength and endurance. Her worrisome husband tried to persuade her to seek further medical interventions, but she insisted doing nothing. She knew her time has come.
“Do not be afraid, my love. Teach our son about faith and God so that when he is old enough, he will understand that death is not a permanent separation but a reunion to our destiny.” She held a deep breath and as she made a release, her tight grip on her husband’s hands has lost its power.
It was a beautiful death. Purpose had been served. Life had been lived well.
Synopsis: God spoke to Sarah that on her 35th year, the time of her death will come. A story of surrender, fulfilling one's purpose, faith and conquering fear of death.
ABOUT THE WRITER:
Madylene Tuazon is a writer and the founder of Creative Thoughts. Her mission in life is to co-create valuable works through writing and encourage creative people to embrace their gifts and share it to the world.
She says, “There is a strong urge from the core of my soul that I have to let my thoughts, wisdom and stories out through a platform that is accessible by people all over the world.”
She is from Manila, Philippines.